mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
