I queefed so loud it echoed.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
