tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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