He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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