bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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