I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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