Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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