physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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