sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
