What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You pole danced in your parka.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
