are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
