I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
