i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
