She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
