I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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