I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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