but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
