We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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