He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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