Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
