saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
