so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
