i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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