You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
