not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
