Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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