we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
