I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
