You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
They have beer where we have blood.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
