I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
