she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
