ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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