How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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