i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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