well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize