i think i have herpe
just one?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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