I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
