why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
