you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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