do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
pop tarts are not kleenex
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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