Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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