is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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