I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
