forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
