I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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