He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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