This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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