oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
