Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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