giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
