So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
