remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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