god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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