it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
