Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
