Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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