Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
