So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
