He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
