On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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