I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
